Day 4

We woke up after noon again today, and that night we were playing a Sunday matinee show starting at 5pm, so there wasn’t much time to do anything before we had to leave for the venue. I got to shower again and use actual shampoo this time, not bottom-of-the-bottle baby shampoo, which was nice. Chris and Allison left shortly after we got up; I think to head to some type of sports game? I don’t really remember, but they said yesterday that they may or may not come to the show tonight, and if they did they would need a ride back because they were going to drink at the game.

Our first meal of the day was on the way to the show at Dick’s, which is a staple Seattle burger place. Before we got there, Ryan said that it’s mentioned in the Presidents Of The United States of America song L.I.P. and I knew what he was talking about, so that was cool. We get there and it’s your typical “walk up to the window and order” type of classic burger place. So I “walk up to the window” and ask for 2 cheeseburgers without meat. The person at the counter says “Oh… sorry we can’t do that.” Bwah? “I don’t eat meat; I just want the burger without the patty.” “I’m sorry, but Dick’s burgers are made to order for instant service.” I look behind her and see the person assembling about 20 burgers literally 3 feet behind her. “Can’t you just ask her to skip the meat on 2 burgers?” “Sorry, we don’t do that here.” Ok bitch, you’re fucker #1 for me today. Fine, I guess I’m eating 2 orders of fries and a mint chip sundae, whatever. They didn’t even have ketchup.

We get to Studio 7, the place we’re playing, and head inside. The place is gigantic; they could have probably over 1000 people in this place, no problem. The stage is pretty high off the floor, definitely the biggest stage I’ve played on so far. This didn’t bother me, but there were not even 30 people in the place when we showed up, and playing on a big stage to a small crowd was going to be kind of weird/funny. The first band was playing was yet another “play a million covers” band, I noticed a cover, and then Ryan heard a Broadway Calls cover as well. We load into the backstage, and the backstage room is 2 couches and a stained mattress leaning against the wall. I think it’s funny that bands tag the walls of backstages with their band’s myspace page URL. One entertaining one was “www.myspace.com/GOPMetal”

Most of the employees of Studio 7 have ponytails and beards. The sound guy announces bands (something that I’ve never heard a punk venue do, ever) like he’s announcing a stripper. Big booming voice going “Ladies And Gentlemen! Up Next! Blah Blah Blah! Blah Blah! Blah! Put Your Hands Together For BLAH BLAH!!!” We got drink tickets (my first experience with free drinks for bands coupons), but I think the band rule is that no one drinks at shows or on tour, so we used them on food at the snack bar. I got 2 microwave burritos and a coke. There was a bar in the upstairs loft lounge place, and I noticed that there were a few more people up there, but it was really dark looking from down on the main floor, so I imagine that it would be nearly impossible to see them from on stage. I didn’t like the idea of playing to people that I couldn’t see, but nothing really I could do about it. Brendan’s aunt and uncle live in the area, so they came out to see the show, and Brendan introduced me to them. It was kinda cool, because I know that my parents are going to want to come see me, along with other family members and friends (my mom is actually trying to talk my grandfather out of going, I don’t think that he understands what a punk club entails), and I don’t know the rules of rock and roll, so it’s good know that mommy and daddy are allowed to come to your show. It’s weird, but I guess I think about weird stuff like that.

I went back backstage during the other bands, which were quasi-metal bands. I walked in and Peter and John were jamming, Peter on his unplugged electric and John drumming on his drum stool with a pair of drumsticks. I don’t know why, but it was pretty rock and roll to me, jamming backstage on Buddy Holly and Elvis songs. Very cool. This was also the first time that I wasn’t overthinking the whole “being at a gig” thing. Instead of being like “Ok. This band is playing now and we’re on next so that gives me time to do this and this but only if I hurry up but I should probably make sure all my gear is in order and I don’t forget earplugs and my tuner this time yadda yadda yadda…” this time I just chilled out backstage and preshow stuff was just going through the motions for me. I’ve never been nervous before or during a show, but I do think a lot about making sure everything is in order, because I don’t want to make newbie mistakes. This time I was just hanging out, thinking about not much and talking with the band until it was like “Oh. I guess it’s our time to go on now.”

So we started loading gear on stage. The soundguy came to mic our amps and the drums, and he was being a TOTAL. FUCKING. ASSHOLE. First thing that I did was pull the huge 8x10 bass cab on the stage and there were cables strewn everywhere from the soundguy’s mics and I almost run over one and he goes “Whoa brah!!! WHOA! Don’t do that to me, brah! Unless you got $20 on hand then you better watch out. You ever have your guitar player plug in to his amp and you just hear a loud screeching noise?” This “brah” was starting to get on my nerves so I said “No. I haven’t.” He keeps on going, though. “Really brah? You’ve never heard that?” “Nope. Can’t say that I have.” “I think you’re lying to me, brah.” He goes on to criticize every other one of the band members. “Stage right guitarist, can we check your guitar levels?” Ryan strikes a few chords and the soundguy butts in “Hey that’s Green Day huh? Strike any 3 chords and you’ve got a Green Day song. I’m just messing with you, brah” Ryan gets this look on his face that clearly said “Are you making fun of me? DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?” The soundguy then goes on to Brendan. “Hey, your sax sounds a little bit thin, do you want me to put some ‘small hall’ reverb on that for you?” We’re all getting REALLY tired of this guys bullshit, it was constant and infuriating. “No, we don’t need reverb, it’s cool.” “Are you sure, brah? Your sax sounds a bit thin.” “Yes, we are sure.” Hey fuckwad sounddouche, don’t crap on the sax player’s tone, it’s fucking FINE.

We finally start up, and Ryan’s voice is destroyed, he literally can’t sing at all. Ryan, on stage, decides to not sing the set at all and dishes lead vocals off to Peter, the first he’s heard about this at all and has never done it before. So we’re playing to a crowd that’s almost non-existent on a huge stage with Peter on lead vocals who’s not singing half the time and we’re all in a horrible mood because of dicknose soundass. We cut the set super short and I’m fucking not happy about tonight at all. We grudgingly load out because even though we’re headlining, there’s apparently another show going on after our show, some stupid metal show, and we have to GTFO. These bands have already loaded their gear in, so we have to sift through the backstage for our gear (trying to make sure nothing gets lost in the sea of black cases) and drag all the stuff out the front door instead of the back door because other bands are loading in through the back. The soundguy is “helping” us again, and is still giving Brendan an ear-full about his sax tone. Brendan, who is the one of the nicest guys ever, who almost never says anything bad about anyone, and is helpful and considerate and selfless, just blows up on shithead soundjerk. “HEY. I have a SOLID SILVER sax. It has FANTASTIC tone and if you think it sounds thin then maybe you should check your FUCKING P.A. system! SHUT. UP.” Right on, Brendan, I didn’t know you had it in you.

Out by the van we’re greeted again by Chris and Allison, who say that Peter sounded great tonight on vocals and that even though there was all the BS, we sounded tight and good. Of course, Chris goes on to say “except for the bassist, he just looks bored. You guys seriously need to kick him out; he’s clearly the weakest link.” Now I know that this is just him being a little punk to me on Danny’s behalf like usual, but the whole “bored onstage” thing stems from one of the only videos that exists of me in the band, and I’m actually pretty self conscious about it because this band has a ton of energy and I want to match that. I’ve been trying really hard to up my stage presence a lot, and after everything in the world went sour tonight, shit like that didn’t help in the slightest. It turned my mood from bad to absolutely terrible.

It wasn’t that comment that pushed me over the edge, but after we all piled into the van, the culmination of the scene tonight, the awful opening bands that seemed like they were killing rock and roll music, the FUCKING SOUND GUY, Chris’ comments, A-Class Fucker #1 from Dick’s, the awful Washington cold and rain and the resulting wet shoes and socks, the fact that I had only eaten 2 bags of fries and 2 microwave burritos today, the realization that I wasn’t getting my tattoo tomorrow because I had no idea what I would want, and pretty much everything else lead to me completely breaking down in the backseat of the van with my jacket hood pulled tightly over my head. Chris tried to show me a text that Danny had sent him that was actually really sweet, but I wanted nothing to do with anybody at all, which lead to the entire van worrying about me, which obviously made it all the worse for me.

We get to Chris’ place, and I once again just don’t want anything to do with anybody, so John and I walk down the block to Safeway. John tries to cheer me up by saying that “Hey, everybody has bad shows, don’t worry about it.” Nice gesture, it really was, but I still wasn’t having it and when we got into Safeway I broke off from John to go find some terrible food that would probably make me feel worse in the long run, but would be delicious at that moment. Mood swings, huh? I grab a Simply Lemonade and a box of Safeway imitation Girl Scout cookies.

I head out of Safeway while John’s still inside and am texting back and forth with Danny, until I decide just to give her a call. We talk for about an hour (John’s long gone by that point) about tonight and a bunch of other stuff, and it gets me pretty level headed again, and even though I’m still in “Matt doesn’t give a shit about anything” mode, I think I’m ready to go back to Chris’ place to brave what people were going to say about my absence and general attitude of the evening. I walk up to Chris’ place just as I see Chris and the band walk up as well. They said that they went down to the pizza place and ordered some pizzas. We get back into Chris’ place and Chris says “Ya, we got a couple Hawaiian pineapple and ham pizzas.” Someone pipes in and informs him that I don’t eat meat, and I get a little disappointed because I would have liked warm food and instead I stupidly purchased a box of cookies for dinner. Chris, in typical fashion of this weekend, goes “Well I guess he really won’t like what I’ve got for him here!” and unzips his pants, and thrusts his underweared crotch in my face while I’m sitting on the couch.

That was pretty much the last straw. I snatch my Simply Lemonade bottle from the table, pop off the lid and start pouring it down into his pants. “Holy SHIT! Is that lemonade!?” he yelps and quickly knocks the bottle away and backs off. “I guess I’ve learned not to mess with you anymore,” and he retreats back into his room. John is sitting on the other couch playing acoustic guitar, playing some Metallica riff. I say “John, please stop playing Metallica, just please stop.” He continues playing it, so I go over there and start detuning every string on the guitar before he realizes what was going on. He tells me to go fuck myself, but he’s the drummer and I’m not sure he knows how to put it back in tune, so he puts the guitar down. Chris comes back in the room later and asks why I’m so mad at the world. I don’t answer.

There’s more Xbox being played, and I eventually just fall asleep on the couch sitting up, because there are 2 other people on the couch so I can’t lay down. If yesterday was the best day of tour so far when everything possible went awesomely, today was its polar opposite. Thinking about it, it was probably the fries and the microwave burritos that made me completely crash and burn that night, but all the other things didn’t help in the slightest. I wasn’t going to let it completely ruin the tour for me, and I was determined to have tomorrow be a better day.