Day 8

A construction worker woke me up, and I heard him saying “Hey you! You on the floor!” and I sleepily said “Huh?” “I'm taking the extension cord that you're things are plugged into.” “Ok, sure. Go for it.” And then I fell back asleep. I woke up later and realized that I probably should have asked the guy which outlet that extension cord was plugged into, because almost none of the outlets in the building worked. I went around plugging random things into the outlets around the building, and none of them worked. So I guess we were without power, which was fine; all my stuff was charged.

I decided that I should take pictures of this place, because it was pretty bizarre where we were sleeping. There were people passing by on the sidewalk, and my sleeping bag was in full view of the front windows, so I wondered if anybody had seen me sleeping in an empty store. I woke up past noon, so it was probable. I haven't used my camera yet on tour. I don't know why; I just never bothered to pull it out of my bag. So I snapped a few photos.

I was being a little loud (something that was easy to do given the massive echo chamber we were in) when I was trying to find an outlet and taking pictures, so some of the other band members woke up. Ryan is always the last one to get up, and Brendan was in the van, so Peter, John, and I got our stuff packed up. Peter was getting a little anxious because he would rather hang out in Sacramento than a construction site, so he wanted to wake up Ryan and leave. I went out to look for a coffee shop or something where I could eat something and wake up. I wandered around and found Heavenly Donuts, so I bought a box of a dozen donuts and brought it back to the band who were more than excited to have them. Ryan woke up and we headed out of there.

Sacramento wasn't that far away, so we got there pretty quickly. We were set up to play R5 Records, which was a regular looking record store. Brendan and I went in, and we looked around, not knowing exactly where they were expecting us to play. We asked the person at the front desk, and they said that they were going to move some couches out of the way or something. Ya, ok. The rest of the band finally came in, and Ryan was wondering where the local bands were that were supposed to open for us. He made some calls and found out that they had dropped off. Bummer. There was no one there, so we just decided to save Ryan's voice and not play.

But we had a backup plan. Ryan had been contacted a few weeks prior about playing on the UC Davis college radio station. He thought that it wasn't going to happen, until he got an email today from the DJ saying that we could play today if we wanted to. So that was pretty convenient, and we drove out to Davis, which wasn't that far away from Sacramento. We had some time to kill, so we got some food at Del Taco (a place I've never been before. It was pretty gross).

Finding a way into UC Davis was a pain in the ass. It's a college campus so there are bikes everywhere, and we almost hit a few of them in our big van plus trailer. We were given a gate code that we were supposed to punch in, but we searched and found several gates which all apparently had different gate codes than the one we had. We eventually found the right gate and went in to the campus. Finding the radio station building was equally difficult and frustrating, so I hopped out of the van and asked students for directions. We finally found the building and I went in to see what we were expected to do. College buildings and usually all labyrinths from hell and this one was no different. I found the radio station which was in the basement of the building, and it was the biggest college radio station I had ever been in.

I searched the place and found “Calamity Janie,” the DJ who was having us on her show, and she followed me out of the station to the van to tell us all where to load in. We pulled around the building, and we told to load our gear down stairs. This wasn't as bad as I thought, but still a bit of a pain. We got all our gear in, and sat down on the couches in the station office. There were 2 DJs doing their show while we were hanging out, so I decided to smear my face on the DJ booth window while they were trying to banter on air. They both started cracking up and I ran back into the room where the rest of the band was sitting before the 10 second delay hit.

The station had stickers and posters of punk bands all over the place, so that was cool. We put up some stickers, too. We were all sitting on the couch killing some time, when Atom Man came on the radio, and the band's faces all lit up a little bit. I've had a bunch of experience with college radio (Miranda, my ex that was living with in Tacoma, had her own punk show on her college station, and I've had a few other friends with shows), so it didn't really phase me that much, but the band thought it was kind of weird. After the song ended, the DJs introduced us as a “pop punk” band, which is something we don't really feel we fit into, but it's better than “ska” band, which we get almost as often.

Their show ended at 8, and Calamity Janie's show started. I asked her what the schedule was, and she said that we would be playing from 9-10. I didn't think that we had nearly enough material to do a full hour's set, so she said that we could play for as long as we wanted and then maybe do an interview for the remainder of the time. She didn't really seem like she cared too much or had any idea, so neither did we. We setup our gear in “Studio A,” and the soundguy did a thorough check of the mix, so it seemed like we were good to go. We were told that we would have to censor the songs on the air, which really wasn't a problem for us, but a few of our songs have some pretty blatant swear words.

We started at about 9:15, when the people in the sound booth kept giving us thumbs up signs, which we weren't really sure if that was the “go” sign or not, so there was a good 10-15 seconds of dead air, which I'm sure is about on par with regular college radio. We went into our set, and Ryan broke a string in the first second of the first song. My instrument cable also cut out for about 10 seconds as well. I had tuned my bass just before we went on, but for some reason my A string was way way off. I checked it on my tuner pedal in between songs, and the pedal said that my open A was fine. It was lying to me; there was no way in hell that string was on tune. So I played the next 2 songs only on my E string, something that I was a little proud that I could pull off. Before the set, I had raised the bridge a bit because of my bass' neck problems, but that shouldn't have affected an open A string. Ryan told radioland all about how my intonation was off, but it was my tuner pedal that was broken. I tuned to Peter's A string, and played the rest of the set fine. On “Kill Surf City,” Ryan usually says “When no one gave a FUCK” when there are no instruments playing, but he said “When someone licks your BUTT” instead, which was extremely great. Peter said “fuck” a few times in the backup vocals, but I don't think that anyone caught it but me, so hopefully no one gets a violation.

We finished at about 9:45, because we wanted to maybe get some interview time in, but Calamity Janie didn't seem to want us to do that. I know that college programs have to throw in a few PSAs and announcements during their show, so she probably had to cram all those in at the end. They handed us a CD of our performance, and told us that it would be available online as well. Calamity Janie came out after her show and said thank you and that we did a good job and blah blah blah. The next show that was going to be on that night was going to have a live bluegrass band on, so naturally I was curious about who they were. It was this family band, one of those traditional bands where everyone in the family plays an instrument. I've seen some stuff like that before, and usually the kids are extremely talented because of pressure from their parents. We're talking child talent like child chinese violinist talent. I asked them what they were playing, and they handed me a set list, thinking that as a punker I wouldn't know any. I knew a few of the songs, and then I brought up some bluegrassy stuff and wondered if they had heard of my dad's show. They hadn't, and I think at that point they were getting tired of chatting with me. After the conversation, I kinda pieced together some things from what they said, and I concluded that they were probably playing bluegrass to promote the master race.

We started loading our gear up the stairs. I picked up Peter's amp case, and after about 3 steps, the bottom completely fell out of the case because it wasn't screwed on correctly, and his amp head dropped about 3-4 feet onto the linoleum floor and bounced. I looked at it, and it didn't seem like any of the tubes were broken, and there was no rattling inside, so it seemed fine, and I went outside to tell Peter what had happened. He was a little mad, but seemed to be OK.

We made a quick drive back home, and dropped John and Brendan off at John's house where they were both staying for the night. Ryan and Peter dropped me off at home, and I went in my room and Danny was asleep in my bed, and as far as all of you people know, I crawled in bed and fell asleep.

Day 7

We had another fairly long drive to Redding, CA from Portland; so Ryan said that we should leave by 11. I woke up at 10:45 and took a shower. I found out that I had left my towel at Chris' place (big surprise), so I borrowed one from Walker Death Ray. Their house was pretty gigantic, and there were people walking around everywhere, and a few of them told me that they didn't live there. I got out of the shower at 11:15, and no one had woken up yet. I wasn't really worried about it, because if we were really pressed for time then someone would have set an alarm.

I got a call from Danny, who was a little upset with me because I have been a bit neglectful of her on tour, which is always going to be true to some extent, but she was right because there were a few specific things that I should have done for her that I didn't do, and some nice things she has done for me that I had not fully appreciated. It made me miss her a lot more than I already did, and I felt awful that I upset her. I'll try harder to keep her in mind. Tour is brain consuming, but I do think about her, and I should let her know that I do.

People finally did get up, and we left shortly after. We were in a hurry, so we didn't say a proper goodbye to the Danger Death Ray guys, but I said bye to Walker and gave Ryan a hug. We got in the van, and John took the wheel because Ryan couldn't drive through Oregon. We stopped at Subway/Little Caesar's and got some food. Peter, Brendan and I got 2 pizzas, 2 breadsticks, and a 2 liter for the road. I once again spent most of the drive writing in the tour journal, until my laptop battery died. Peter was singing some Elvis Costello, and I asked him how much Power Pop he listened to. He didn't know what I was talking about, which surprised me because by the music he listens to, he should have known Power Pop by now. So I let him borrow my iPod and put on the Rhino D.I.Y. Power Pop comps for him. Afterwards he said that he had heard most of that stuff, and then gave me shit for the Plan-It-X stuff I had on my iPod; he had been going through my iPod artists.

I tried doing this thing that the band does in the van that always seemed a little weird to me, but they swear by it and says that it makes them feel reenergized, among other things. So I tried this “taking a nap” jive, and I couldn't really get into it. I would nod off and wake up every 5 minutes. I was lying down and I felt the van pull over and saw that we were in a parking lot. We were stopping at a Guitar Center for some supplies. So I groggily walked into GC because I needed some bass strings. Peter and I were talking to the sales guy and I was still a little foggy and I asked Peter “Wait, what town are we in?” Peter said “Medford” and I said “Huh? … oh.” The sales guy I think was getting a little tired of me, so I just got the cheapest bass strings that they had and we left.

Immediately as we cross into California, it stops raining. Thank god, I was so fucking tired of the constant rain of the North West. We get to Redding and pull up to the Eatery, the pub where we're playing tonight. The band is excited, because this place gives bands free food and a free place to stay. I go inside on venue recon, and see that the first band has already started playing. I think we're playing second, so I tell the band that we should probably hurry up and load in. Ryan asks me a few things (things that I should have asked the bartender) but I don't know the answer. I realize now that I'm not very good at venue recon. Oh well. We hurry up and load in. The first band is this hardcore band that plays “Radio” by Rancid and “Minor Threat” by Minor Threat as their last 2 songs. I like the Minor Threat, and it seems like I'm the only one in the room who knows the song (which was sorta weird to me) and I start singing along and the lead singer gestures for me to go up and join him. I blow him off, because I have gear to setup.

The crowd is pretty small, and there's not a lot of people at the bar, and the place doesn't really have a great vibe, so I think we just want to get it over with. We setup fairly quickly, and the way John set up his drum set, I didn't have room to be on the side of the stage that I'm usually on, so I'm over by Peter for the first time. I usually can't even see Peter through Ryan and Brendan during the set, so this should be a different perspective. We played alright, but the small crowd was mostly stationary. “The Witch” had become part of the set now that I had learned it, and it's really fun to play, even though it's a cover. Not the greatest set, and I think that my bass amp kept cutting out because we were forced to daisy chain power strips, and the entire band was playing out of 1 outlet.

We were playing on the floor, so loading out was really easy. Afterwards we all ordered our free food. I got tofu tacos and a side of garlic parmesan fries. The food wasn't good, but it was free. We hung around the bar while the last band was playing, but then I started to get an awful pain in my stomach. I could feel the “Matt Stomach Fuck” coming on, which I knew was about to get way way worse, and I knew this night was about to take a turn for the worst. It did get progressively worse and by the end of the night I was visiting the bathroom every half hour or so. Bad and unfun.

We talked to the opening band, who were also on tour. They were on a 6 week tour, but next year they were tour from January to June. For 6 months. We all thought that they must be out of their minds. The lead singer said that he was homeless back home, and that being on tour was always better than being at home, so why not? Ryan said later that that is a really good way to destroy a band, and I think I agree. The opening band also talked to us about the Bombpops, and Ryan said that we were opening for them in San Diego, and later told me that I would like them and that they were really good. Cool.

Peter was taken by the owner to see where we were staying. It was a different place than the last time that The Atom Age came through, and significantly shadier. We were staying in an under construction storefront that was completely empty. We all got our bags out of the van and went in, and the only light in the place came from these floor construction lights. There was one outlet that worked, and a power strip that we all plugged our phones/computers into. The bathroom didn't have any lights, which sucked even more because I had my bad stomach ache. The place was completely empty, and the wood floors and bare walls gave about a 3 second reverb to anything that we did. The place looked like it used to be some sort of clothing store, and Ryan, Peter, and John stayed in the dressing rooms on the floor, because it had carpet. I setup near the back of the place where there was also carpet. Brendan slept in the van to keep it guarded, which is a really good policy to have, and he volunteered for it. We were playing the next day in Sacramento, and so we were asking Ryan if he knew where we were staying that night. He said “Are you guys kidding? I'm staying at home in my bed! The show ends at 8, so why wouldn't we just go home for the night? The lack of common sense in this band sometimes astounds me.” Way awesome! I texted Danny and told her to meet me at my place at about 10 or 11. We all stayed up pretty late watching stupid youtube videos (at least we had WiFi) and I finally fell asleep at around 4.

Day 6

I woke up and decided that breakfast for the band was in order again. I used what was left over from yesterday to make a eggs, potato, and bell pepper scramble, and more French toast. The band was asleep when I started making it, so I assumed only a few members would be wanting some, but everyone woke up and thankfully I made enough for everybody. The band was surprised how I could just lie down on the floor and be asleep in 5 minutes, and that I was lucky to be able to sleep so easily and soundly. Ryan needed to be in Oregon to deal with insurance for the car accident a few days prior. He needed to be there by 5, so we needed to leave pretty fast. I tried to do all the dishes, but people were already packed and ready to go, so I did the most that I could and then hurried to pack up everything, hoping to remember everything.

It was a lengthy drive back to Portland, where we were playing again tonight, and I spent most of the time in the van trying to make up the days I hadn't yet logged in the journal. It's hard to write in the journal when there are other things to do, and I usually try to write in the van or when there's nothing to do at the place we're crashing. So while we were at a cool place like Chris', it was pretty difficult to be motivated to write in or to concentrate on the journal. But I caught up a little bit, but at the same time I seem to write a lot so I was still not caught up.

We got to Portland just in time for Ryan to make it to the DMV. There was a little bit of chaos when Ryan couldn't find the papers he needed and we needed to find them in the messy van while we were double parked in the middle of downtown Portland, but everything got sorted out, and Peter, John, Brendan and I waited across the street at Starbucks. After the whole DMV thing is done we go and find some food. The band wants Panda, but there is almost nothing that I can eat there, so I head over to Quizno's across the way. I bring my food back to Panda Express and the manager actually gives me shit for bring in my food and sitting at the table with the rest of the band who has bought food. Jerk. We kill a bit of time there and Ryan gets a call from Middagh who says that we'll be playing with Big D And The Kid's Table at the Plea For Peace show in December. Cool, it'll probably be the first bigger show that I'll play, so that's a little exciting. We need to leave to go to The Know, the bar where we're playing, so we do.

The Know is a smallish place, it has a decent sized stage, and the floor area is small so it'll force people to not be so spread out, which is always good. It's also extremely dark, maybe 2-3 light bulbs lighting up the entire room. We show up fairly early, so we check our email and hang around. The bartender gives me 4 drink tickets per person, good for a beer each, so I suddenly find myself in possession of 20 beers worth of tickets that I don't know what I'm going to do with. I remember that I got to use the tickets last time at the snack bar for food, so I ask the bartender if we can use the tickets for the bar food menu. She gives me a weird look and says “Uh… I guess. We have small microwave pizzas and bigger ones like Tombstones.” Sweet. I told Ryan about it and he thought it was sweet as well. Ryan ordered a Tombstone pizza later on, and the bartender told him that no band has ever used drink tickets for food. Well, we're a hungry fucking band. My back has also been absolutely killing me from sitting in the van all day and then having a super wide power stance on stage. It got so bad that even walking around hurt a little, let alone unloading gear.

Danger Death Ray was playing with us tonight. They opened for us at my first Plea For Peace show, and I saw them again when they crashed at Danny's place for the night in San Jose. So it was good seeing them again, they showed up and I said hello to all of them. I like them, and I got their CDs in San Jose, so it was good knowing that I would enjoy one of the other bands tonight. The first band tonight was an acoustic duo, and it was getting towards the time they were supposed to start and they were nowhere to be seen. Ryan Death Ray was letting me use his bass amp tonight, and while we were getting it out of their van, he told me that the acoustic duo were notorious for being a little bit flakey.

They finally get there, and then proceed to take the longest setup that I've ever seen a band take ever. They had one of their friends do sound, and it was instantaneously obvious that he hadn't a clue what he was doing. They couldn't get the mics to work, and Ryan (who is a professional sound engineer) finally went up to fix it. The sound guy fucked with the levels for what seemed like forever, and did things that I could not understand at all, like tell the band to not put their guitar's soundholes next to the mic, and then wonder why he couldn't hear the guitars at all. Then they couldn't get the monitors working, and we and Danger Death Ray were starting to get a little bit impatient, because it was 9:15 and they were supposed to start at 9, and the show had to be over at 11. Dave Death Ray started yelling at them “People having been playing acoustic guitar and singing for hundreds of years without monitors. You're playing an acoustic set. You don't need monitors.” They never got the monitors working and finally started. Their soundguy was messing with the levels the whole time, and both of them switched from singing with their mouths on the mics to singing 3 feet away every 10 seconds, so it went from inaudible to feedback just as frequently. The lead guy bitched about not having monitors between every song, and we were glad when they finally finished.

We were running out of time, so we decided to share gear all our gear with Danger Death Ray to save time on setup. My bass has lived in the trailer this whole tour, and it's been really cold in the North West, so my bass has suffered and as a result, the neck was a little weird and there was an enormously noticeable buzz after the 5th fret on any string. We got our stuff together asap, and went into our set. Another good show tonight, the crowd got really into it, so we played Blitzkrieg Bop at the end of the set and people went nuts for that song like usual. It always seems a little weird playing that staple punk cover, but the crowds always lose their shit over it, and it's a lot of fun to chant “Hey Ho Let's Go” with the crowd. Some guy jumped on stage and sang most of it with us, something that I usually hate when people do, but everyone was going crazy, so I guess it fit in.

We jumped offstage and Danger Death Ray jumped onstage. Ryan said we made some diehard fans tonight, and I was hanging out at the merch table while a few people were telling us how much they liked us, so that was good. I like positive reinforcement, and when people tell me I do a good job, no matter how drunk they might be. Danger Death Ray was having bass troubles, and eventually Ryan Death Ray asked me if he could borrow my bass. I said “No problem” and handed it to him. He thought his amp was acting funky, and he said his tuner wasn't working, so he tried to fix it while Dave played a Lifetime cover. They finally got it all together and started their set off with “Silly Little Smile,” one of my favorites by them. I thought they sounded fine, but they seemed a bit distraught at the technical difficulties and the time constraints. In my opinion it was a good set, even Ryan (who usually doesn't censor himself at all about shitty bands) said that they were good, so that made me happy to see some love go their way.

The bar wasn't charging cover, something that they said that they would do, so the bartender decided to give us a little money out of her tip jar to help us out, which I thought was a little too much, but I wasn't there when that went down. We loaded up the van and headed to the Zombie House, home of Danger Death Ray, to stay the night. Danny said that their place was big, and she wasn't kidding. There were 3 couches in the living room, and I took the smallest one that no one else wanted to take, because I'm used to sleeping in a ball. It actually reminded me a bit of Colson's couch. I caught up a bit more in the tour journal, and then handed Ryan the computer to play his video games, and went to bed.

Day 5

I woke up before everyone else, as usual, and really wanted today to start off right, but little things kept making me falter, like my laptop wouldn't charge (turns out the battery came just a little bit loose, locking it back in solved it), and other little things like that that kept me irritated. But I was committed to changing my luck, so I decided to cook the band a big breakfast. Brendan and I went down the block to Safeway and I got a bag of potatoes and some thick toast. We got back to Chris' and I started making hashbrowns, eggs, and French toast. It all came out pretty well, and while I was cooking it I talked to Chris a bit about the new Teenage Bottlerocket album, and he showed me a signed picture that one of the Hextalls guys left for him on his refrigerator. Ryan and Peter were sleeping, so Brendan and John had my food, and I think it was the first time that John had ever had French toast, and I think it blew his mind.

Today was actually pretty uneventful; I stayed inside all day until the show that night. Ryan went and got a haircut, and John was trying to find a place that could repair his broken lug on his snare drum, but besides that, we just sat inside all day and people played, yet again, more Xbox. Peter was told that he was probably going to be singing lead vocals again tonight, so he spent almost all day practicing the set over and over again. I don't think it was that necessary, and he caught a little bit of hell from Ryan who told him to stop because he sounded fine, but Peter actually got pretty mad about it, saying that he wanted to be perfect tonight and that he's sorry if he just wants it to sound good. I admire Peter's dedication, he cares a lot about how he sounds, not only in this way, but he does things like changes his strings almost every other day and warms up backstage every night. Practicing for literally over 6 hours seemed to be a little over the top, and this is punk rock we're talking about here, so I think I was on Ryan's side on this one. Chris made us dinner, which was really good. Macaroni and pasta sauce, and he made sure that I got some pasta before the meat was stirred in. It was good, I was disappointed that I didn't get to have seconds because there wasn't any left that didn't have meat in it.

We're playing tonight at the Funhouse, which is a bar in Seattle that I've never really been to. It's 21+, so while I was living in Tacoma, I never got to go there even though sometimes cool bands would play. It didn't take too long to drive there, and we loaded in the small back room. The Funhouse was a cool little place, but it was hard to find a place to set up merch. We grabbed a folding table and chair from the back area and found a place though.

The backstage was a little room that was covered in probably thousands of band stickers. It seemed like everyone in the entire bay area hits up this place for a show; I recognized a ton of the bands. Danny had told me to look for the Pillowfights! sticker, and there was more than one. I don't remember if it was my idea or Danny's, but I said that I would put an Atom Age sticker next to the Pillowfights! one. I was kinda weird about doing it in front of the band, though. I didn't want to bring them into my mushy cutesy life, I try to keep that at a minimum around them for their sake. I don't think that anyone else in the band has a girlfriend, so once again, I don't know the rules of rock and roll. I know. It's stupid. At the end of the night as we were leaving, I slapped a sticker next to the Pillowfights! one and took a picture and sent it off to Danny.

Peter was practicing backstage for the set like he'd been doing all day, and he wanted to know if I wanted to do “The Witch” which is a Sonics cover that The Atom Age used to do. So we jammed on it a few times through, it wasn't that hard at all, just a modification of the 12-bar blues and a tempo change here and there. I had learned it way back when Peter wanted me to know it when I first auditioned for the band, and I remembered the backup vocals for it, as well. Backstage there was also a huge cooler stocked up with tons of PBR, but I don't think that any of the bands tonight drink, so Chris (who had shown up) helped himself. For some reason, it's a little disappointing hanging out in bars every night and not drinking anything even though there are free drinks. I wasn't really tempted by the cheap PBR, but I would have liked to have just one decent brown or amber beer available on tap. It's not a big deal at all to me, but if I spent 10 days in a banana factory, I would be tempted just to eat a banana, even though I'm not the hugest fan.

For a Monday night, it was a respectable turnout. The first band didn't gather that much attention from the patrons, so it looked like most people were focused on their drinks at the bar. We played second of the three bands, so we loaded the gear on stage and quickly set up. Ryan decided that his voice was doing a lot better, so he said that he would be able to sing after all. Peter looked a little bummed out, but he was in good spirits about it, saying that at least next time he would be well prepared for it. Ryan did his usual “Hi everybody, we're The Atom Age. We play 21st Century Rock 'N' Roll. This one's called Turn It Around,” and there we went. We played “The Witch” and it was really fun, I think that it fits The Atom Age sound really well and I played it fine, and Peter sang it so at least he got in a little bit of lead vocals. There was something up with the low end of the monitors or the subs of the stage, and it made my bass sound all wobbly, so I kept thinking that I was out of tune, but I guess I was fine.

Our set was good, a big improvement over last night. A bunch of people that were sitting at the bar came and watched us, and we drew the attention of most of the place, so that was really good. Not as good as the house show or the awesome Port Orchard show, but still very good for a bar show on a Monday. Merch sales were above par, too, it seems we made some fans and turned some heads, which is what we're all about. Satisfying. We stuck around for the last band, and I agreed with Chris when said that they seemed like they would sound good on record, but live they were a little low energy. They came up to us after the set and said “We hate following bands like you, you have really good energy and we're pretty low key, haha.” They were cool dudes. I don't think that they had anything for sale, and I was too busy loading out the gear through the cloud of pot smoke behind the bar to double check, but I would have liked to maybe pick something up from them.

On the way back from the show, we hit up the Wendy's drive-through (clearly). Ryan's ordering, and he asks me last what I want and I say “5 Jr. Cheeseburgers, no meat, and make sure they put them in the microwave so the cheese melts.” I knew that he would respond with this before I even opened my mouth. “There's no way that they're going to get that right. No way.” He apologized after the drive-through people gave the rest of the band the food, and he said that, if I wanted, we could go to another place. I said that it was fine, so we went back to Chris'.

More Xbox, and Ryan finally downloaded this demo of some action first person shooter that he'd been wanting to play since he found out that I have a really good laptop for gaming. So he took that over and I sat and watched the rest of the band play Call of Duty: Modern Warfare until I said “Hey, you know what looks pretty good right now? This floor.” (this is an inside joke between Rory (my roommate back home) and I, but the band didn't know that). I grabbed a pillow, laid down on the floor, and within 5 minutes I was asleep.

Day 4

We woke up after noon again today, and that night we were playing a Sunday matinee show starting at 5pm, so there wasn’t much time to do anything before we had to leave for the venue. I got to shower again and use actual shampoo this time, not bottom-of-the-bottle baby shampoo, which was nice. Chris and Allison left shortly after we got up; I think to head to some type of sports game? I don’t really remember, but they said yesterday that they may or may not come to the show tonight, and if they did they would need a ride back because they were going to drink at the game.

Our first meal of the day was on the way to the show at Dick’s, which is a staple Seattle burger place. Before we got there, Ryan said that it’s mentioned in the Presidents Of The United States of America song L.I.P. and I knew what he was talking about, so that was cool. We get there and it’s your typical “walk up to the window and order” type of classic burger place. So I “walk up to the window” and ask for 2 cheeseburgers without meat. The person at the counter says “Oh… sorry we can’t do that.” Bwah? “I don’t eat meat; I just want the burger without the patty.” “I’m sorry, but Dick’s burgers are made to order for instant service.” I look behind her and see the person assembling about 20 burgers literally 3 feet behind her. “Can’t you just ask her to skip the meat on 2 burgers?” “Sorry, we don’t do that here.” Ok bitch, you’re fucker #1 for me today. Fine, I guess I’m eating 2 orders of fries and a mint chip sundae, whatever. They didn’t even have ketchup.

We get to Studio 7, the place we’re playing, and head inside. The place is gigantic; they could have probably over 1000 people in this place, no problem. The stage is pretty high off the floor, definitely the biggest stage I’ve played on so far. This didn’t bother me, but there were not even 30 people in the place when we showed up, and playing on a big stage to a small crowd was going to be kind of weird/funny. The first band was playing was yet another “play a million covers” band, I noticed a cover, and then Ryan heard a Broadway Calls cover as well. We load into the backstage, and the backstage room is 2 couches and a stained mattress leaning against the wall. I think it’s funny that bands tag the walls of backstages with their band’s myspace page URL. One entertaining one was “www.myspace.com/GOPMetal”

Most of the employees of Studio 7 have ponytails and beards. The sound guy announces bands (something that I’ve never heard a punk venue do, ever) like he’s announcing a stripper. Big booming voice going “Ladies And Gentlemen! Up Next! Blah Blah Blah! Blah Blah! Blah! Put Your Hands Together For BLAH BLAH!!!” We got drink tickets (my first experience with free drinks for bands coupons), but I think the band rule is that no one drinks at shows or on tour, so we used them on food at the snack bar. I got 2 microwave burritos and a coke. There was a bar in the upstairs loft lounge place, and I noticed that there were a few more people up there, but it was really dark looking from down on the main floor, so I imagine that it would be nearly impossible to see them from on stage. I didn’t like the idea of playing to people that I couldn’t see, but nothing really I could do about it. Brendan’s aunt and uncle live in the area, so they came out to see the show, and Brendan introduced me to them. It was kinda cool, because I know that my parents are going to want to come see me, along with other family members and friends (my mom is actually trying to talk my grandfather out of going, I don’t think that he understands what a punk club entails), and I don’t know the rules of rock and roll, so it’s good know that mommy and daddy are allowed to come to your show. It’s weird, but I guess I think about weird stuff like that.

I went back backstage during the other bands, which were quasi-metal bands. I walked in and Peter and John were jamming, Peter on his unplugged electric and John drumming on his drum stool with a pair of drumsticks. I don’t know why, but it was pretty rock and roll to me, jamming backstage on Buddy Holly and Elvis songs. Very cool. This was also the first time that I wasn’t overthinking the whole “being at a gig” thing. Instead of being like “Ok. This band is playing now and we’re on next so that gives me time to do this and this but only if I hurry up but I should probably make sure all my gear is in order and I don’t forget earplugs and my tuner this time yadda yadda yadda…” this time I just chilled out backstage and preshow stuff was just going through the motions for me. I’ve never been nervous before or during a show, but I do think a lot about making sure everything is in order, because I don’t want to make newbie mistakes. This time I was just hanging out, thinking about not much and talking with the band until it was like “Oh. I guess it’s our time to go on now.”

So we started loading gear on stage. The soundguy came to mic our amps and the drums, and he was being a TOTAL. FUCKING. ASSHOLE. First thing that I did was pull the huge 8x10 bass cab on the stage and there were cables strewn everywhere from the soundguy’s mics and I almost run over one and he goes “Whoa brah!!! WHOA! Don’t do that to me, brah! Unless you got $20 on hand then you better watch out. You ever have your guitar player plug in to his amp and you just hear a loud screeching noise?” This “brah” was starting to get on my nerves so I said “No. I haven’t.” He keeps on going, though. “Really brah? You’ve never heard that?” “Nope. Can’t say that I have.” “I think you’re lying to me, brah.” He goes on to criticize every other one of the band members. “Stage right guitarist, can we check your guitar levels?” Ryan strikes a few chords and the soundguy butts in “Hey that’s Green Day huh? Strike any 3 chords and you’ve got a Green Day song. I’m just messing with you, brah” Ryan gets this look on his face that clearly said “Are you making fun of me? DO YOU WANT TO DIE!?” The soundguy then goes on to Brendan. “Hey, your sax sounds a little bit thin, do you want me to put some ‘small hall’ reverb on that for you?” We’re all getting REALLY tired of this guys bullshit, it was constant and infuriating. “No, we don’t need reverb, it’s cool.” “Are you sure, brah? Your sax sounds a bit thin.” “Yes, we are sure.” Hey fuckwad sounddouche, don’t crap on the sax player’s tone, it’s fucking FINE.

We finally start up, and Ryan’s voice is destroyed, he literally can’t sing at all. Ryan, on stage, decides to not sing the set at all and dishes lead vocals off to Peter, the first he’s heard about this at all and has never done it before. So we’re playing to a crowd that’s almost non-existent on a huge stage with Peter on lead vocals who’s not singing half the time and we’re all in a horrible mood because of dicknose soundass. We cut the set super short and I’m fucking not happy about tonight at all. We grudgingly load out because even though we’re headlining, there’s apparently another show going on after our show, some stupid metal show, and we have to GTFO. These bands have already loaded their gear in, so we have to sift through the backstage for our gear (trying to make sure nothing gets lost in the sea of black cases) and drag all the stuff out the front door instead of the back door because other bands are loading in through the back. The soundguy is “helping” us again, and is still giving Brendan an ear-full about his sax tone. Brendan, who is the one of the nicest guys ever, who almost never says anything bad about anyone, and is helpful and considerate and selfless, just blows up on shithead soundjerk. “HEY. I have a SOLID SILVER sax. It has FANTASTIC tone and if you think it sounds thin then maybe you should check your FUCKING P.A. system! SHUT. UP.” Right on, Brendan, I didn’t know you had it in you.

Out by the van we’re greeted again by Chris and Allison, who say that Peter sounded great tonight on vocals and that even though there was all the BS, we sounded tight and good. Of course, Chris goes on to say “except for the bassist, he just looks bored. You guys seriously need to kick him out; he’s clearly the weakest link.” Now I know that this is just him being a little punk to me on Danny’s behalf like usual, but the whole “bored onstage” thing stems from one of the only videos that exists of me in the band, and I’m actually pretty self conscious about it because this band has a ton of energy and I want to match that. I’ve been trying really hard to up my stage presence a lot, and after everything in the world went sour tonight, shit like that didn’t help in the slightest. It turned my mood from bad to absolutely terrible.

It wasn’t that comment that pushed me over the edge, but after we all piled into the van, the culmination of the scene tonight, the awful opening bands that seemed like they were killing rock and roll music, the FUCKING SOUND GUY, Chris’ comments, A-Class Fucker #1 from Dick’s, the awful Washington cold and rain and the resulting wet shoes and socks, the fact that I had only eaten 2 bags of fries and 2 microwave burritos today, the realization that I wasn’t getting my tattoo tomorrow because I had no idea what I would want, and pretty much everything else lead to me completely breaking down in the backseat of the van with my jacket hood pulled tightly over my head. Chris tried to show me a text that Danny had sent him that was actually really sweet, but I wanted nothing to do with anybody at all, which lead to the entire van worrying about me, which obviously made it all the worse for me.

We get to Chris’ place, and I once again just don’t want anything to do with anybody, so John and I walk down the block to Safeway. John tries to cheer me up by saying that “Hey, everybody has bad shows, don’t worry about it.” Nice gesture, it really was, but I still wasn’t having it and when we got into Safeway I broke off from John to go find some terrible food that would probably make me feel worse in the long run, but would be delicious at that moment. Mood swings, huh? I grab a Simply Lemonade and a box of Safeway imitation Girl Scout cookies.

I head out of Safeway while John’s still inside and am texting back and forth with Danny, until I decide just to give her a call. We talk for about an hour (John’s long gone by that point) about tonight and a bunch of other stuff, and it gets me pretty level headed again, and even though I’m still in “Matt doesn’t give a shit about anything” mode, I think I’m ready to go back to Chris’ place to brave what people were going to say about my absence and general attitude of the evening. I walk up to Chris’ place just as I see Chris and the band walk up as well. They said that they went down to the pizza place and ordered some pizzas. We get back into Chris’ place and Chris says “Ya, we got a couple Hawaiian pineapple and ham pizzas.” Someone pipes in and informs him that I don’t eat meat, and I get a little disappointed because I would have liked warm food and instead I stupidly purchased a box of cookies for dinner. Chris, in typical fashion of this weekend, goes “Well I guess he really won’t like what I’ve got for him here!” and unzips his pants, and thrusts his underweared crotch in my face while I’m sitting on the couch.

That was pretty much the last straw. I snatch my Simply Lemonade bottle from the table, pop off the lid and start pouring it down into his pants. “Holy SHIT! Is that lemonade!?” he yelps and quickly knocks the bottle away and backs off. “I guess I’ve learned not to mess with you anymore,” and he retreats back into his room. John is sitting on the other couch playing acoustic guitar, playing some Metallica riff. I say “John, please stop playing Metallica, just please stop.” He continues playing it, so I go over there and start detuning every string on the guitar before he realizes what was going on. He tells me to go fuck myself, but he’s the drummer and I’m not sure he knows how to put it back in tune, so he puts the guitar down. Chris comes back in the room later and asks why I’m so mad at the world. I don’t answer.

There’s more Xbox being played, and I eventually just fall asleep on the couch sitting up, because there are 2 other people on the couch so I can’t lay down. If yesterday was the best day of tour so far when everything possible went awesomely, today was its polar opposite. Thinking about it, it was probably the fries and the microwave burritos that made me completely crash and burn that night, but all the other things didn’t help in the slightest. I wasn’t going to let it completely ruin the tour for me, and I was determined to have tomorrow be a better day.

Day 3

I woke up in the basement and it was still dark, but I was awake so I decided to take my much needed first shower of tour. I looked at my phone and it was 12:45pm. I can’t even remember the last time that I have slept in past noon, but the band had told me beforehand that my sleep schedule was going to take a massive change, and I guess they were right. The bathroom was a little sketchy, but of course I didn’t care. I didn’t pack travel shampoo, but I found a small amount of baby shampoo in this really old looking bottle, and I made do. I climbed the stairs out of the basement and found that someone had tagged “Fuck Yo House” on their stairwell along with another tag, both in paint pen. The Camel House guys assumed it was the wigger looking bros that the douchebag second band had brought to the house. It was still raining pretty badly, but loading the gear out wasn’t as terrible as it could have been, but it still felt terrible. I tied the broken van window shut, and we headed out to Seattle.

We hit up Wendy’s, AGAIN, but this time I think that I’ve perfected my Wendy’s meal. Five Jr. Cheeseburgers, no meat, and have them put them in the microwave so that the cheese melts. It’s under 5 bucks too, and I got a hot tea which warmed me up significantly. We hopped back into the van and in 5 minutes we were in Washington. For some reason there’s a noticeable difference between California/Oregon and Washington for me, and I’m not saying that as soon as I crossed state lines I was flooded with memories of my former home, but being there amongst the trees and the rain did bring back a little something. It was a few hours to Port Orchard, and everyone in the van spent the time listening to their iPods through headphones (John, in the back, was practicing his drumming on a pillows with his drum sticks), and I wrote a bit more in the tour journal. We passed through Tacoma, and I tried find buildings or streets that I could remember, but from the highway there was barely anything. No big deal.

We get to Port Orchard, which is a pretty small town on the other side of the Puget Sound from Seattle. We’re scheduled to play Myhere’s, a largish bar/café with a few other bands, including Smokejumper, a pop punk band fronted by the illustrious Chris Crusher who is friends with Danny and I believe is expecting me so that he can meet/judge me. The show is also a benefit for the local roller derby girls who need new uniforms or some other shenanigans. We go inside and spend a bit of time searching for the stage. We’re eventually told that we’ll be playing upstairs, but we can’t go up there yet because the door is locked. Fine by us, we puttered around, some of us had coffee at the café, and we talked to the promoter who was really jazzed to have us. The owners of the bar showed up and they let me into the upstairs where we would be playing. Huge place with a bunch of long tables, seems like it’s usually meant for community events, but it’s a good place for a show as well. The stage is small, just big enough for the drum set, so the rest of the band is on the floor. Ryan and I are the only members of the band who are over 21, and the owner is really worried about the rest of the band being in the bar, but she’s really cool about trying to make it work, and decides that if they stay at the merch table or behind this curtain in this makeshift backstage area, then it would be fine. We unloaded the van, and once again there’s a big flight of stairs so we opt not to take the bass cab up because another band has an amp I can use. It’s a good one this time, and I’m always happy not to have to lug our heavy amp too far.

People start arriving, and it looks like it’s going to be a great turnout. The van that was loading the PA system was a plain white van with “Adolf Ketamine” spray painted in several locations. This prompted us to talking about North Western White Power groups, and we jokingly told John (who is Columbian) to watch his ass. The roller derby girls showed up and started setting up their table where they would be holding a raffle. Prizes mostly include movie tickets to the nearby theatre and roller derby tickets, but they had some cool stuff like $200 of tattoo time at the local tattoo shop, and $50 worth of piercings at another local place. Later in the night I decided to drop $10 on 15 tickets, thinking that there were a lot of prizes and not that many people would buy tickets so my chances at winning something were pretty good.

Chris showed up, and the band greeted him. They all know him because they crashed at his place last time through here on tour. He said hello to me and told me that he’s supposed to beat me up tonight. I also meet his girlfriend Allison who I talk to for a bit about standup comedians and other things. We set up the merch table near the door, and I want to attach the new shirt to the board with all the other shirts, so I go downstairs and ask for a piece of cardboard, a stapler, a piece of paper, and a screw. The bartender kinda looks at me funny and then hands me some materials. We sell a bit of merch to the promoters and other people there before the show even starts, so far so good. Ryan, Peter, and I decide to make the trek to KFC down the road, which looks to be the only place that’s open anywhere nearby.

The first couple of bands were so-so, Smokejumper played 3^rd and I thought that they were good. Between every band the roller derby girls would raffle off a few prizes. The crowd was getting pretty big and drinking a lot, which is good, Ryan said that means that we’re probably getting paid tonight. That’s good news, gas is cheaper up here, but still pricey for our huge van with trailer. We loaded our gear onto the stage, all the while I kept stopping and checking to see if I’d won anything from the “A Cup Killer” roller derby girl.

Our set was amazing. People were going absolutely crazy, bodies were flying everywhere! The band was tight too, we played really well. I was trying to match the unbelievable intensity of the crowd which resulted in me snapping my guitar pick clean in half. The crowd chanted “Atom Age!” for an encore, and after Ryan apologized, because opening bands aren’t really supposed to do encores, we went into Blitzkrieg Bop, the only real cover we all know. The place ERUPTED and I actually got a little worried because people were getting hurled everywhere and people were falling over the monitors into the band. Great great set. Put me in a really good mood.

We hauled our gear off the floor into the back room into the makeshift backstage (all while I was checking my raffle tickets to see if I had won anything, and then going back to carrying gear), and all of us were wide-eyed thinking “Holy. Shit.” We sold a TON of merch. If we sold like that every night we would sell out of CDs and 7”s in 3 days. We also got a good amount from the door, and all-in-all this show got us way out of the red. The last band that played was a sorta pop punk band, and it took them 3 tries to get through their first song. Later I learned that they hadn’t practiced in 8 months.

After playing a few shows with The Atom Age, I’m really glad and really lucky that they are good musicians and not idiots. It doesn’t take a lot for me to think that somebody is an idiot and not like them, but everyone in the band is cool and likes good music and isn’t style or image obsessed. There are not a lot of people that I can talk about rock and roll music with and not get upset, but it’s fun talking about music with the band. It seems like most of these bands that open for us try really hard to be a perfect copy of Jawbreaker or Blink-182, and play a lot of covers of the bands they try to emulate. Same goes with the Against Me! or generic metal rip off bands. I don’t like thinking that bands suck or talking shit about other people’s art. Early in this tour, I realized that “HEY! I get to see a free punk show every night! This rules!” but I have yet to see one band that I’ve really liked besides Smokejumper, and it was hard to hear them because the bass was turned up super loud. I’m not saying that The Atom Age is the most original band in existence, or that we’re super amazing, but I’m just glad that we’re not douchebags with sideways baseball caps or emo haircuts or neckbeards.

After the last band cleaned up, the roller derby girls were raffling off the grand prize of $200 at the tattoo place in town. I hadn’t won anything yet, in fact, a lot of the prizes were won by the roller derby girls themselves who had purchased a lot of tickets. I thought that that was a little bit unfair. No one else in the band had gotten tickets, so they had been all cheering me on and wishing me good luck. They drew the ticket and I didn’t win. I honestly didn’t know what I would do with $200 at a tattoo shop in Port Orchard, WA. I would have to decide on a tattoo by the next morning. So, whatever. The person whose ticket was called didn’t come up to claim the prize, so they drew another ticket. And I won. “Holy shit. I’m getting a tattoo.” I went up there and got my prize, and people were yelling “Hey! No fair! He doesn’t even live here!” They handed me the envelope with the gift certificate and I went back to the band and friends, and (of course) the dumb tattoo ideas start coming. We were going to be in the area for 3 days (we’re playing 2 shows in nearby Seattle), so it looks like Monday would be the day.

We load out, and people are outside and talking to us about the show. Someone was saying that the only band that rocked Port Orchard as much as we did was NOFX when they came through 20 years ago, and that we were better than them. That’s a pretty hefty statement, but it’s nice to hear good things about the band. We’re staying at Chris Crusher’s house tonight in Seattle, which is across the Puget Sound, so we have 2 options. 1) We drive all the way south around the Sound and come back north into Seattle, or 2) We take ourselves and the van on a ferry across the water. The ferry idea sounds expensive, but then we learn that it’s only $13 for all of us and the van. Way cool. We follow Chris and co. to the ferry station and drive onto the ferry. I guess we made it just in time, because after we head to the top of the ferry and outside to look at the water, the ferry was on its way. I love the Puget Sound, it’s really beautiful, and being out there on a boat out on the water was a great way to end the evening. It was cold, but the rain had stopped and it was clear enough to see Seattle and the surrounding areas. It got a little too cold, so we headed back inside and got some snacks from the vending machine and talked a bit to Smokejumper and Allison.

It was a fairly short ride, and before we docked I wanted to go outside again, so I did (by myself, no one else wanted to brave the cold). Watching the water foam up as the ship was slowing down was really cool, and when the ship was anchored in, I turned around to go back inside, when I noticed that the inside of the ship was completely vacant. Oh crap, everyone must be in the van downstairs about to drive off the ship. I sprinted down to the car level just in time to hop in the van. My band said that Brendan went out looking for me, and was wondering if he had found me. He didn’t, and now HE was the one who was going to get stranded on the ship. We still had to drive off the ferry to not hold up traffic, and Brendan made it off the boat just in time. We saw him sprinting towards the van, and were glad that he wasn’t going to get left behind.

On the way to Chris’ house we made a few pit stops to drop off members of Smokejumper and to unload their van at their practice space, and then we went to Chris’. Chris’ place was pretty cool, I almost immediately started going through his record collection which was laid out against the wall (his shelf broke or something). Chris was showing off his new 50-something inch plasma TV, and the band played Xbox (which was something that was almost constant for the extent that we stayed at Chris’). Chris’ roommate comes in and says “Hi” to the band and then without delay asks which one of us is Danny’s new boyfriend. I hesitantly raise my hand, and he lunges towards me and lifts me in the air, I wiggle my way towards the wall and try to escape by climbing up to the rafter or the space above the closet, but don’t make it. Chris then starts paddling my ass while I’m helplessly failing. Chris’ roommate (I’m bad with names) told me that Danny told him to do that, so it looks like Danny told all her friends to harass me.

I got on my computer, and was surfing the net, when my “spider sense” went berserk and I reached up and caught a bottle of pills that Chris had thrown at my neck. He said “Wow, nice catch” and I mentioned the whole juggling thing. He had kind of been picking on me the whole night, on account that I’m Danny’s new boyfriend and that Danny told him to heckle me, and it had been kind of wearing on me a little bit because I was trying to be nice to him and Chris seems like a cool guy. I just kinda wished that he would knock it off a little bit.

We all headed to bed, I took the couch. Peter had to sleep in the van because he’s allergic to cats and Chris has at least 2. Ryan used Chris’ massive air mattress that inflates to about 2-3 feet off the ground which would have been very comfortable if it had held air very well, something that he learned pretty quickly. Ryan, Brendan, and I stayed up until about 5:30, with Ryan critically analyzing Chris’ CD collection, making fun of Broadway Calls and The Leftovers (something he does almost daily), but saying some good things too about the majority of it. A lot of time was spent talking about b as well, which I’m glad that I’m not part of at all anymore. “Pillow talk” with the band always seems a little funny to me, it takes you back to the slumber party days, but it lets me get to know the band more, something I always appreciate.

Day 2

We all wake up at about 11:00, and head across the street to the minimart for "breakfast". I realized that we are now out of "Arizona Iced Tea" territory and into "3 Liter Pepsi" territory. I grab myself the wateriest hot chocolate I've ever had, but I melted a Hershey's Bar in it so it wasn't so bad. John is convinced that our bad luck is the result of this small plastic skull that was given to us by Middagh, the guy that operates Plea For Peace in Stockton. He takes it and hurls it into the tree that we relocated the car under last night. With that, we take off for Portland.

The drive was spent sleeping by most everyone, except me who was writing first of the tour journal. I don't know why I decided to start one, I usually don't document the crazy crap that I get myself into, but this time it felt appropriate. The drive to Portland was long, but uneventful.

Portland was how I remember it, beautiful city and big long bridges. We make a b-line to Pizza Shmizza which we all shelled out 7.50 for 2 slices and a drink, and quickly realized that we should have all split an extra large pizza and saved 20-30 bucks. And it wasn't even that good. Having a few hours to kill before we head to the house show, we make our home base Peet's Coffee (for the free wifi) and hang out there and in some of the surrounding areas. I get bored and try to hack the Peet's Coffee Wifi, but to no avail, they have it pretty well secured, go Peet's! The Atom Age article is up on the AMP Magazine website, and it looks really good, but I didn't take a really good look at it, mostly because I'm not in it. Heh.

It's just a short drive to the "Camel House" where we're playing, and Brendan and I are on venue recon again. We knock on the front door, and are greeted by a hipster looking guy who tell us to load in through the back door. We pull up to the back of the house, enter in and go down to the basement. It's a pretty decent setup, I suppose. The rest of the band is pleased, they say it's more sizable than most house shows. Good. We start loading our stuff in through the back door (which is up some steps) and then down the flight of stairs to the basement and store our gear in the bedroom of one of the house's occupants, which is back behind the "stage area" where we'll be playing. It becomes immediately apparent that we aren't going to be able to get the gigantic bass cabinet down to the basement, so I'm issued the task of finding something to play through. We get there pretty early, and the other bands (and any attendees) aren't there yet. We hang out, talk to the housemates, and channel surf the TV until we find this hilarious Mexican TV game show that is so outrageous it contends Japanese game shows.

People start slowly arriving, and from the looks of it, there seemed to be a nice turnout. I mean, anything is better than the night before, but there were maybe about 30-40 people there before the first band went on, so I had high hopes. While the first band was setting up, I asked the bassist/keyboardist (in retrospect, I wonder how you can have a bassist/keyboardist) if I can borrow his bass amp for our set. He says "Uh... sure! But I'm running my bass and my keyboard through the same amp, which is a keyboard amp, so I don't know if you want to use it or not..." I, ungratefully, roll my eyes a little, but then thank him and say that it would be great. We set up the merch table, and one of the house people said that most bands don't try to sell merch, but we made do. We set the table up in the corner with a lamp on the table, but the lamp bulb broke off when Brendan tripped over the cord, so I scavenged one of the light bulbs from the nearby bathroom and we were good to go again.

There seemed to be an alright crowd for the first band’s set, but then the second band went on. Probably one of the most, if not THE most, obnoxious bands I've ever seen. It was 4 extremely white high school kids on guitar, bass, drums, and very very loud synth. They ran out of original songs to play in 10 minutes, and resorted to another 20 minutes of covers that maybe one of them knew and the others just goofed around for. Covers included such showstoppers as Time After Time by Cindi Lauper and I Saw The Sign by Ace of Base. They would play half of that song before they got bored and then moved onto the next awful song. They cleared out the room except for 5 drunk guys who mockingly shouted for an encore, which the kids excitedly obliged. I almost felt bad for them, except we were slated to play next, and we all just wanted them to GTFO the stage. They finally stopped playing after about 45 minutes, and were in no hurry to break down their gear, so we "helped" them by moving most of it for them. I plug into the keyboard amp, and it's not very powerful, so I turn the volume, gain, treble, mid, and bass all the way to 10. It's a muddy mess, but at least I can hear myself alright.

It was the best show I'd played with the band so far, we killed it. People thanked us and bought a bunch of merch, and Ryan said it was maybe the best house show the band's ever played. We were also about 5 times louder than any other band that played that night, and at one point I saw flashing red lights outside the top window of the basement. I kinda hoped we played loud enough for a noise complaint, but no such luck. A few people after the set said that we could crash at their place for the night, but we wanted to stay here at the Camel House, because it was raining like crazy outside and the last thing we wanted to do was haul gear up the stairs and into the rain. The ceiling of the house was leaking in some places, but not into the basement, and pretty much everyone but us had gotten completely hammered. I don’t think that I’ve seen that many PBR containers in my entire life, and that’s saying something. I looked up the PBR Wikipedia article later on, and it explicitly mentions Portland. Funny. Peter came up to me at one point and said “Matt, you HAVE to check out the hippy jam band that’s playing in the shack behind the house.” And if you know me, you know that I HAD TO. It was an organ, piano, harmonica, trombone, and some guy banging big sticks on an upside down recycling bin. They all played in different keys and different rhythms. It was awesomely terrible. They invited me to join in on banjo, and I couldn’t pass it up. Hysterical.

Ryan, Peter, and I started walking down the block to the 24 hour Mexican food restaurant, and we found out that some asshole had tagged the side of our trailer with a paint pen. The burritos at the place were dirt cheap and pretty solid. Some random guy at the table next to us kept butting in on our conversation with bizarre commentary. Of course I egged him on a little bit, and when we left Ryan said that I’m going to get my ass kicked one day. Thinking about it, I really have no idea why I haven’t gotten my ass kicked for provoking strangers as much as I do. I’ll probably never stop until I do.

We got back to the Camel House completely soaked from the heavy rain to the point that I was able to wring my shoes out in the bath tub. We brought our bags in, and half of everything was completely soaked because the back windows of the van don’t close all the way. This included my sleeping bag, so I resorted to sleeping on my airbed with my heavy jacket on and my sweatshirt covering my feet. It was actually completely comfy, and I fell asleep pretty quickly.

Day 1

Well, here I am. Day 2 of touring. This means two things.

One: I have survived Day 1.

Two: The events of Day 1 must have be very significant, or else I wouldn't have been inspired to start a tour journal.

So let's recap.

Woke up with girl yesterday morning. Didn't get any packing, laundry, errands, or the like done the night before, but this was expected. I was told by Ryan that we wouldn't be leaving until noon or 1, and then received a text message from him saying that it wouldn't be until 1:30 that I would be picked up. I was under the assumption that we were playing Portland that night, so I was a little bewildered on how we could possibly make the 9+ hour drive in time to play, but I was the newbie here, and if I'm going to make it on this tour I should learn to put some faith in those that have more experience than me (I later learned that we were headed to Medford instead, a short ways into Oregon and completely reachable in the time that we had).

I only got one load of laundry done, which was socks, which seemed to be the most essential. From a Day 2 standpoint, this is dead on. Walked the girl to BART, said our goodbyes and I hurried off to Guitar Center to make some last minute grabs. Typical nightmare as always, they didn't have the tuner pedal that I wanted, but I got the pricier pedal at the cheaper pedal price. Then they couldn't even find the pedal, and after 10 minutes of the sales guy searching, I walked behind the counter and shuffled through the pedals myself. Before the cashier could begin to protest, I located the pedal and handed it to the sales guy, who stammered a little bit while apologizing. I had to swipe my card 3 times for it to work, and finally got the hell out of there.

I made my way home a little worried that I wouldn't be packed in time or that I would be rushed and would forget something. Everything was fine though, and the only thing that I seem to have forgotten was my camera charger, which I don't think that I'll need. All in all I had my duffel bag full of clothes, my backpack full of books and electronics, sleeping bag, pillow, air mattress, and (of course) my bass. I didn't have a hard shell case, but Peter is letting me use his which is really a life saver; my stock fender gig bag is paper thin and does little more than provide a way to carry my bass as a backpack. The band arrived, and Ryan smirked at me as I waddled down my driveway, loaded down and arms full of what I perceived to be the essentials, but may have come across as overpacking at first glance. Surveying the back of the van, I concluded that I was on par with everyone else. Cool. I hopped in the van and we headed out to pick up John.

We parked in the lot of John's Jack In The Box (both his workplace and his nextdoor neighbor), and he loaded in. The first thing that we all noticed was that John was wearing a headband that made his hair smooth until midway towards the back of his head, and the a curly mess from thereon back. I called it a "tiara" and that immediately stuck and he didn't hear the end of it all day. I didn't like everyone ganging up on the guy, so I told him that I didn't have a problem with it, but everyone else's constant comments were getting him pretty pissed.

We got on the 5 and headed North. It appears that no matter what happens in my life, I am DESTINED to travel this road several times a year in its entirety or at least major segments. It was a little strange (being the new guy) that I was pointing out things along the way, telling them about the Ashland Shakespeare festival or correcting Ryan on the time it takes to get from Portland to Seattle, but it did help make the whole "first long drive of tour" experience feel a little less like I was venturing out completely blind and eased me enough to argue with Ryan and Peter about whether Johnny Thunders was a rock legend or a idiot drug addict, or whether Blink182 was a rip off of traditional pop punk or if they were different enough to deserve their fame. The van is a gas guzzling giant with a small tank. This caused us to stop 3 times on our way up at about $40 a pop, each time warranting a comment about how we would make back some of the gas money at tonight's show.

When we reached Oregon, Ryan started on a lengthy list on the reasons why he hated the state. Mostly about the hipster population of Portland, and about the speeding ticket he got from the "fucking lesbian redneck highway cop," which he didn't pay and probably caused his license to be suspended in Oregon. Unfortunately, this fact proved to be a major problem later on that night.

We arrived in Medford, and made our way to the bar where we were scheduled to play. Ryan issued me "Venue Recon" guy, but I was accompanied by Brendan into the bar which was either closed or had just opened. Either way, there wasn't a soul inside. We walked around the place trying to find somebody, and eventually the owner came out of the back room. We introduced ourselves and asked what time we should begin loading in. He said that anytime was fine, because we were the only band playing tonight, and then asked if any of us were over 21. Brendan answered truthfully that Ryan and I were the only ones who were (an admission that he was later yelled at by Ryan for) and the owner told us that anyone under 21 would have to either be on stage or outside the bar. This seemed reasonable, even though this rule was completely ignored for the rest of the night by both us and the owner.

The venue was a really cool bar, with rock n roll posters and memorabilia everywhere, and a shotty pool table in the back where I beat Peter and John in a game each. The owned told us that the reason there were no available local bands to play was that there were TWO SHOWS being played within just a few blocks distance from the bar. Fucking fantastic. We left the empty bar to go grab some food at the band’s fast food restaurant of choice, and vegetarian nightmare, Wendy's. The amount of fast food I might consume on this tour might ruin me, and even though there have been side comments about eating better, stopping at grocery stores doesn't seem like something that will happen without a push. We'll see if I make one.

We head back to the still completely vacant bar, and pace around anxiously. The owner said that there would be some people that he knew that were attending other shows that would head over after they got out, so that was something that we were willing to put some stock into, given that our only other option was an empty room.

Eventually 3 guys wandered in, and asked if the bar was open. That was good enough for us. We loaded in, set up, and took the stage. We tuned and did a quick soundcheck, which took just long enough for those same 3 guys to leave again. Staring at the small, completely empty bar floor, we launched into our first song. It was good practice, to say the least, but the least is really all you can say when you're playing to not even the owner of the bar, who must have been in the back room again. During our third song, those guys came back, and stood semi-drunkenly towards the front of the stage, which was close enough for me to see that one of them had an Iron Maiden shirt on. Sweet. Ryan asked them to introduce themselves and we chatted in between songs. Alex, Bill, and Riley seemed to like us well enough and at the end of our short, uninspired set, John asked if they had any requests. Bill, proudly displaying his Iron Maiden shirt, called out "Ride The Lightning by Metallica!!!" Ryan said "Alright, Ride The Lightning! Here we go! TAKE IT PETER!" who counted off a loud 1-2-3-4 and we launched straight into Blitzkrieg Bop.

The 3 guys stuck around after the set and we learned from them that the bar had listed us on their calendar as "Atomic Age". They checked out "Atomic Age" on MySpace, who are apparently a German techo band. They weren't into that at all, but they came out anyways. They got The Atom Age instead, and they said that next time we came through town they would hand out flyers in advance and that we were a lot better than any of the "bro bands" that were playing down the block, where people drove to see them in their "bro-dozers". They were drunk, but they seemed sincere enough. We loaded the van back up and with the band apologizing that this was "the worst that it gets" we went out to find the nearest Pilot gas station to sleep in the van.

This was not the worst that it gets. Less than 5 blocks away, I hear Ryan, who is driving, scream "FUCK!!!" and a car slams into the van and a massive piece of plastic flies over the front windshield of the car. We pull over, and so does the other car. Out of the other car steps this Mexican guy who barely speaks any English. Thankfully, John speaks Spanish and talks him down because he was freaking out quite a bit. He insists that he hit us, and wants to call the police. Ryan, for some reason, says "OK". The other guy runs into the nearby gentleman's club to make the call. I asked Ryan why the police need to get involved and he says that if he refuses and leaves then it's a hit and run. I don't fully understand this, but I don't drive and don't really know the proper protocol for car accidents, so I shut up. We take a look at both cars, and our beastly tour van is totally fine, while the plastic paneling of his car is across the road and his front passenger side door is bent backwards. Finding out who was responsible was tricky because we were both going straight on the same road and someone must have gotten in someone else's lane or something. I look at his car and from the way that his door was bent backwards towards the rear of his car, and location of the damage, I determine that the only way that this could have happened is if he had accelerated into our van. Ryan doesn't seem too concerned, saying that it's a minor fender bender and that insurance would cover it and there's really no reason for anyone to get worked up. This is true, and we're all way more concerned because of Ryan's SUSPENDED LICENSE in Oregon. The cop shows up, he's a young guy, and appears to be alright. He takes Ryan's and guy's info and talks to them separately and what-not. But, afterwards Ryan is taken aside and I hear the cop mention that his license is suspended. Fuck. Fuck Fuck Fuck. He talks to him quite awhile, and from around the corner where the cop is talking to Ryan I overhear phrases like "plead not guilty" and other things. Not good. I really hope that we won’t have to bail a band member out of jail on our first night, but this is me getting a little carried away. Ryan eventually comes back and explains that the cop was super cool and that he said that he could have towed the van, but he wasn't going to do that because that would have sucked ROYALY for us. He did fine Ryan for driving with a suspended license and on top of that another fine for driving out of his lane. Giving him a citation without actually having the facts down and not witnessing the incident seemed a little insane to me, but nothing could be done about it now.

We get to the nearest Pilot gas station a city or two away, park in the back of the lot and go inside to grab some food. We are sitting there in the Taco Bell attached to the station, when yet another police officer walks up to us. "Where you guys from?" he asks. "Berkeley, California." "And you guys are just passing through, right?" "Yes." "Uh huh, sure..."

Well great, what the fuck did we do now?

"Did you guys have any altercation with the man in purple that was sitting there a few tables away from you?" "What? No." "That's what I figured, he's totally cranked out and saying that a group of guys is following him and harassing him. Are you sure you didn't say anything to him?" "No, we didn't say one word to him." "Alright then, have a good night."

A pretty minor incident, but after everything else tonight and with our luck, we were pretty much thinking we were all going to get arrested and receive the death penalty in fucking Oregon. Well we don't want to stay at some gas station where a meth head is thinking that we're trying to kill him and will probably be back to chew our faces off while we sleep, so we head a few towns out and park in the parking lot of a Best Western for the night. I slept in the very back of the van, which was totally fine, I could stretch my legs out and it was pretty much just like sleeping in anywhere in a sleeping bag. We fell asleep pretty quickly after only a small bit of griping about today. At about 5:30 in the morning, a Best Western employee makes us leave the parking lot, and we move off to a gravel vacant lot just a few blocks away.